Current Affairs

Your Personal Brand

Yesterday I read this article by a female lawyer, written for other women in the company she works for, on how to behave as a woman. 

http://abovethelaw.com/2013/10/biglaw-memo-from-top-firm-advises-that-women-dont-giggle-dont-show-cleavage/

Read it yourself and form your own opinion. I can have opinions on what she says, the tone she uses, and why she is saying what she felt was necessary to convey, in writing, but those are just my opinions. There are a few things I know.

1. There is no man in this world who would send out an e-mail with advise to his fellow male co-workers on how to behave at work. 

2. Having awereness around how you are perceived in the work place is one of the most important ways of controlling your career path, and ultimately success.

3. My generation, women in our 40s, (are we almost-GenX?), cannot understand why acting appropriately is something that has to be taught. 

Today, female CEOs have to let their women employees know that wearing thongs and "ill-fitting" jeans (that is low cut for all you cool people, but I love the word ill-fitting so much more), are not appropriate attire for work. And that maybe posting drunk and making-out pictures when you are Facebook friends with your manager, is limiting your professional credibility. 

Are we just old? Has feminism changed? Is there an aura of entitlement? Are we all living as public figures in a way we never used to? What do we teach our kids?

I don't have any answers, and I have a ton of answers. I strongly believe that we need to always support any woman who stands up and tries to make other women better.

Let's show our daughters, girl friends, that  cultivating their nurturing is not a weakness, it's a strength, because it will make us exponentially better when we share our experiences. Whatever they may be. 

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Know Who You Are

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Looking for a job is not easy. Especially when you don't already have one. We all know, you want to hire someone who has a job. Because there's someone elses validation that this person is actually ok. As if you couldn't trust your own judgement, or intuiton. Which maybe makes it even worse. When you keep going on interviews, and you know  you aren't going to get the job.

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Few things feel worse than rejection. It's demoralizing & can be debilitating. But it doesn't have to be. I am not right for everyone, and most of all, not everyone is right for me. Thank God. Let's at least keep that in perspective.

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I don't hype a bunch of self-help books, because frankly, I am way too good for those books. Only losers read them. Seriously. Except, some of them actually help (which you don't actually know until you read one). Bouy's ex-boss-CIO-dude told him to buy the book  Great Answers to Tough Interview Questions, by Martin Yate, (how selfhelpish does that sound!?) because, "it changed my life". (Yadda, yadda, yadda, snore.) And in my desperate not-finding-a-job-search I finally decided "fine, I'll read the damn book, I have time, it's not like I have a stupid job". For all you job-searchers out there, with-or-without a job, it's great. Just humor my suggestion, & PLEASE, read it cover-to-cover. And then again. Write down the telephone-interview questions, and find answers for them. Write down the in-person interview questions, and your answers for them, and the answer to where you want to be in 5 years. Believe me, you will be asked.

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Because, in all my years of interviewing, I have always asked the wrong questions. (Probably why I didn't get that job at Google back in the day. Right.)

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And then something else happens. You figure out who you are. What you know, & most importantly, what you want to know.

I don't think it can be stressed enough, but we have limited time here on this planet, so do what you want to do. Do what you love. We'll get 70 odd years to make a difference for ourselves, if we are very lucky. Some people get much less. None of that is more true than today. Quoting Steve Jobs is easy, following his advise is more difficult. So, one of my favorite Steve Jobs quotes is "No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there." If anything, that should make us focus on what is important for us.

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It's got to be one of the hardest things to convey to our children. To, in all our own insecurities, instill in them that they can do anything. And be gracious, driven & humble.

 

Don't be afraid

of the love deep inside you

Bring it out for everyone

When you smile, we can see the sun

 

Because you've so much to give

And there's so much to know

But if you wait for your moment

Well it may never show

~ Supertramp, on the album "...famous last words..."